Climbing the Four Steps...Over and Over

In my last blog post I set up the four steps to what I call "High Level Health and Performance." For me, the first step was the most difficult and it was here that I either tripped or found myself unable to move....a special kind of procrastination that lives inside or BESIDE disorderly eating. There is a difference, and understanding this concept was vital to my long term success. It still is.

The idea that disorderly eating is over forever is a dream, especially when it has been deeply embedded in the subconscious mind and has so many tangents or triggers. After living with myself and then working with clients over the decades I've seen just about everything. Staying in what I call "high level nutrition" is a challenge, but one that is very worthwhile. You might wonder if I stay in this place....well, most of the time, but not all of the time. For me, I have learned to eat healthy meals based on my nutritional needs and genetics, but I will wander over into the sugar or salt area on occasion. Believe me, it took quite awhile to achieve this level of food sanity, so I am grateful.

 The steps are very important to my food sobriety. Without them I believe I would slip back. There are times when I need the second and third step to manage life chaos. This is done right in the moment. The fourth step, the imagery/imaginology step is vital to clean up and replant a more powerful image.

Let me give you an example from my own life. As I'm writing this I'm thinking what to choose. Part of me wants to discuss something "big" like the unexpected death of my son, but I don't want to go there. That wouldn't be as useful to you as some everyday experience, so let's go to the "office candy jar" and the cookies, cakes, bagels, donuts brought in by fellow employees.

My inner child is screaming, "Tell them about driving home past the pizza place." Yes, that is one of "her" favorite stories and challenges, especially if we are going to be alone for dinner. Being alone is a big trigger for "us." Remember, I'm a "secret eater", so when I don't have to hide it makes the whole process much easier.

 I think I'll stick with the junk in the office. In the beginning I wasn't all that aware of how much stuff there was. I was blind to it..."comfortably blind." As I started to be "mindful" and practice "high level awareness" I was stunned, not only with how much stuff there was on a daily basis, but how much of it we ate and how often we ate it. There is a habit called "walk-by eating." Most of my colleagues had candy jars on their desks supposedly for guests or staff who stopped in for some sort of conference. Sitting in front of a candy jar all day is a dangerous activity. I began to notice that colleagues were drawn to different candy jars, always taking a piece...like it was nothing.

Every Monday I noticed the candy jars being refilled by their owners. On and on it went. When I came to the Knowledge that I couldn't have sugar like this, I retired my candy jar. I can't tell you how many people remarked about it. "Where's the candy?" So, I wasn't the only one with the problem. 

Getting rid of my candy jar needed some special "step work." My thoughts, emotions, even body sensations kept me in procrastination. The "child-self" suggested that I put it in my bottom drawer or filing cabinet. What a dangerous suggestion...but very cunning. "No," said my Higher Power. "Out it must go." The child replied, "It's wrong to throw out the candy. Give it to someone else." Cunning again. "No." It was to really "go." But where? My Higher Power told me to put it in the garbage bin of the building where we worked. The "child" came with me screaming all the way. As I threw it into the bin I asked for "forgiveness" and promised not to replace it. I returned to the "second step" and spent some time in mindfulness, gratitude and full release of the pattern. Was I never to think of this again? Of course not...BUT..the image of the promise and full release was placed subconsciously.

Each time the thought returned, I placed an X on it and returned to the second step....thankful. One of my colleagues had a jar of pretzels on her desk. My child-self jumped to the opportunity. My mind was filled with "suggestions"...often loud ones, that "pretzels were not like candy" and we should visit Brenda more often.

Becoming aware of how food works in your particular body is vital to self-management. Becoming aware of the messages in the mind, the body tension connected to those messages, and the emotions connected to the body sensations is a complete revelation. Personally, I found it overwhelming and frightening. I knew from my health review that I could not have these things, especially in the beginning and also between meals due to the insulin issue, but there was my "mind"....thoughts, emotions and a very tense body literally pushing me off the chair and down the hall. I found myself "dizzy" with the child-self telling me that "if I had a pretzel I wouldn't faint." Notice the embedded fear tactic.

 So, how does one come to manage this? First there needs to be Knowledge about the needs of the body and mind to keep the blood sugar levels stable. This is where "insulin" needs to be understood. Next, there needs to be motivators. For me it was about my huge hunger and fatigue. I didn't want them ever again. They were connected to anxiety attacks and once I knew this as a fact, I could plant those fears and dislikes into my mind. I also knew I had to eat the foods my body needed to protect the insulin release and at the same time to start correcting the hyperinsulinemia. Yes, this is very different from focusing on weight loss and dieting.

 Practicing the first three steps and then adding in the fourth step is an ongoing process. The book I wrote many decades ago is still a best seller online. There are mp3's that go along with the ebooks. I've found this to be the most successful application of my work. The books are written in "Interactive Self-Hypnosis" and then reinforced with the mp3 Sessions. They are available on Amazon.com. The link is below.

 I'm often asked "How long does this take?" I must admit when I'm asked that I feel like running away from telling the truth. Addicts or people who live disorderly lives do not want to know the answer to this question. It's like handing them an excuse for not starting. But here's the truth....it doesn't end. It must go on for as long as you live. There is no other way to a life of high level health and achievement. But, let me add this. The rewards are huge, and are not only health related. As discipline is brought to a sector of life, all other areas benefit.

The practice of mindfulness, managing emotions, thoughts and body sensations carry huge benefits to the entire mind, body and Spirit. When one is in balance with life, one is closer to one's Higher Self and Higher Power, however you see that for yourself.

 God Bless...

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht Clinical Medical Hypnotherapist
President and Program Designer International Medical Health Writers Ltd. Lincoln, RI www.hypnosis-audio.com
www.sugar-addiction.com
elizrn@international-medical-health-writers.com

Twitter Handle - ELIZRN
Full Interactive Blog - Anatomy of the Inner Self
AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE

Resilience Garden

The night I came to understand how frightened I was of my "addictive self", I came face to face with an image that represented it. It was nothing more than a child, but what a child it was. Over the next few weeks I was to understand the power it had over me. The "understanding" was only partial because the "origination" went so deep into my psyche. There were places I had no recollection of ever experiencing, many of these empowering this child-self who seemed both innocent and toxic.

While I had experienced the toxicity, I never paid much attention, nor did I ever decide to take it apart and analyze it. When the child realized what my intention was, there was an incredible resistance, rather like running head first into a brick wall. I came to understand that it was going to take both courage and commitment to work through this, and it was most likely going to take time. 

When patients ask me, "How long is this going to take?" I remember my own experiences and shudder at the truth. I try to re-frame my answer in a way that will not frighten or discourage anyone, but to stay somewhere in the realm of the truth. We are not all built the same. Some of us have more resilience than others built over the years. Those of us with a stronger amount can take a bigger dose of the truth.

For me, while I was resilient, when it came to my eating issues my resilience was weak. Realizing this, I decided to utilize a technique I'd developed many years ago for my oncology patients. It's called "transmutation." I would relax deeply, take myself to my "special place" in my mind's eye, locate my "resilience garden" and empower myself. Then, I would take that "power" and bring it to my "eating or food behavior garden."

 Building a resilience garden is something we can all learn to do. You can do it through journaling, drawing images, or through meditation. I think it's best to utilize a journal or draw images, THEN...plant these during meditation. When the mind is at a higher focus, the images can go deeper into the subconscious mind.

 If you are working with my programs, have a look at the ones designed for building resilience, managing emotions or even those designed for affirmations. There are many of them and all will work for you. Then, open a journal just for this work. I gathered my resilience from surviving following the death of my father when I was three. I don't remember much before that, but since that event was so seminal in my life, it created a starting point.

This was when I first remember experiencing fear and loneliness. I still have left-overs from those early years. In fact, I was just discussing this with my husband today. I was left alone in our house from the age of four. When I see a four year old I can't believe how little and vulnerable she or he is, yet when I was four I was considered "old enough" to be responsible to be alone. T

Those years were filled with fear about so many things. I remember locking myself in my room and hiding in my closet with some food I would gather from the kitchen before heading up the stairs. While these are painful memories, I was building resilience through these years. My worst experiences were from the age of four through ten. That is a lot of resilience. Resilience is cumulative. The more you experience, the stronger you become IF you choose or remember to utilize it. The good news is that all of it can be "transmuted" and applied to any area of life. More about this in a later blog.

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Clinical Medical Hypnotherapist
President and Program Designer
International Medical Health Writers, Ltd.

www.hypnosis-audio.com
www.sugar-addiction.com

elizrn@international-medical-health-writers.com

Twitter Handle - ELIZRN

I'm currently reviewing all of my programs, just "as if" I was my own patient...  Here's what I'm listening to today... I want to improve my memory recall for the purpose of going deeper into my subconscious mind files. I also want to enhance my self-discipline and time management for High Level Achievement.  I have a lot to accomplish for 2015!

Rules of the Road

 If you are following along with me, I just finished reviewing the night I realized my deepest fear...that of "myself." There is a part of me ( it still exists ) that is cunning and dangerous. Strangely enough, I like this part. She is creative and fun, but also can be dangerous. She is my addictive self and is always ready to suggest some "nonsense" to take me off the Path I've committed to traveling.

Oh, how I wish I could go off with her and have crazy fun without having to "pay the piper." What would it be like to eat all the things that smile out to me from the shelves of the supermarket, the restaurant menus, the fast food joints, the liquor store, the endless desire to buy things that appeal to me even when I don't need them. What fun not to get up with the damn alarm clock, get in the car and just go wherever I wanted without any responsibilities to anyone. What would it feel like to erase the past and just to "escape" from everything. What if I never got sick from eating a gallon of ice cream, an entire pizza or a foot long hero sandwich with all the trimmings?

One day I wrote a list of all the foods I would eat IF I wouldn't get sick. The list horrified me. I was beginning to know how very sick I had become. Then I made a list of everything I would buy if I had no limits or had to face the bill at the end of the month. I sensed the joy I had when purchasing things, or even ordering a cocktail in a restaurant. Just the thoughts made my mind race to a super-happy place.

Opening my dark place was becoming an enlightening, but frightening experience. So, it wasn't just about food, but much more that needed tending. My "garden" was full of weeds, despite my being a successful professional, mother, wife and friend. I suppose one might say I was a "fraud." It's difficult for me to look at myself through that lens, but then again that is only a judgment that indicates where changes need to be made.

This information is very important for me to heal on very deep levels. This is what this year is about. From my work in the field of nursing and clinical hypnotherapy, I knew a lot about "dark places" of others besides myself. Perhaps knowing my own dark place, and being willing to explore it further, would help my patients as well as myself.

I'm not new to this exploration. I've done it for decades, BUT since my son's death the exploration has taken on a new "context." I could only explain it by saying that "I feel like I'm being led to a Higher Place, and that in order to go there, I must clean up some of my dark areas." I decided ( or to be more accurate ), I've been directed to review my own work "end to end". That means listening to every one of my mp3 programs, and to read everything I've written, both in my books and journals. This is a big assignment. I've been given no deadline ( funny metaphor ). I'm also to finish writing the books I've been given to do. Looks like I'm going to be quite busy!

 As I return to the night of my "big fear", I wrote in my journal that I finally stood up and walked into the kitchen. My journal was on the kitchen table. I sat down and wrote a few rules that seemed to be dictated to me from a voice speaking to me from within. God, I wanted a drink! The first rules were simple. I was not to eat except at meals. The meals were to be at specific times. I could have snacks, but they were to be at certain times. ( Oh, I was not liking this.)

 Then came an odd rule. I had to eat "at the table" which was to be set with my best china, cutlery, glassware, linen napkin, and with a fresh flower in a vase. When I packed my lunch for work ( no fast food or food ordered in ), I was to do the same. I was to keep the china, cutlery, glassware, linen napkin, etc. in the office. My food would be packed in "new" attractive plastic containers, and each day I would be serving myself something delightful. "Oh my goodness. This was becoming a real chore." The truth was I never made plans about anything. I ate whatever was in the fridge. I ate in front of the television if I was alone, if family was home, I ate while cooking, then just sat with them. No one ever seemed to notice.

 Now...I had these rules. The child part of me was screaming, BUT....she liked the idea of the formality of the setting. That interested me. Why? As time pasted I began to understand...it was a beginning to my inner healing. Today I'm reviewing an mp3 called "The Mountain." It is a hypnotic journey into my past, and then up the mountain to the "summit." I love this program. You can find it in my Catalog on my website. The link is below. It's in the Learn Self-Hypnosis Series.

 

Elizabeth Bohorquez, RN, C.Ht
Clinical Medical Hypnotherapist
President and Program Designer
International Medical Health Writers Ltd.
Lincoln, RI

www.hypnosis-audio.com
www.sugar-addiction.com

elizRN@international-medical-health-writers.com
Twitter Handle - ELIZRN