Yes, I will be writing about my work because this is such a big part of me. What's interesting is that I've become my own patient and the work I've written and recorded as come to bring me back to a new beginning, not the place I left. I am grateful for what I've been given and even more grateful for having it ready, willing and able to serve me now at this juncture in my life.
Unlike my professional blogs, this personal blog will follow no special rules. Remember the movie "Mermaids?" The character played by Winona Ryder had many similarities to my young self. I wanted to believe that God would come down to save me from my life "as it was." I played at being a "good girl", but inside of me there was another part that wasn't all that nice.
At times I truly believed I was destined to go to hell, and each Saturday when I went to confession Father Joe would peek through the curtain and reassure me that I was right. I was a "sinner"....a seven year old sinner! How ridiculous! As the years went by I lost "faith" .....or did I? I thought I did, but as I look back what I lost was not "faith", but the Knowledge that fear was not the path for me. Yes, fear is a great motivator, but not for the long term. This is where "Spirit" comes in....
Spirit is always present, always has answers, and a Light to show the way. Spirit provides lessons, some more difficult than others, but all come with rewards for moving through the difficult bumps in the road. In my last blog post I wrote about commitment and the difference between desire and fully committing to a goal "of sorts." I'm not all that keen on the word "goal", although I utilize it for myself and my patients. Words are needed to help us identify things, so the word "goal" helps. But, setting a goal is not enough.
There is no energy in just setting it....all things "desired" need energy, some much more than others. Sometimes we need "hot desire" or energy. We may need this for a short term or a long term. We may need to keep it in reserve for difficult moments. As time goes on with a particular "goal", we may not need it as often, but most of the time it's a good idea to have a dose ready. I know it's been this way for me.
I've been practicing commitment for decades. I believe my Spiritual Guides have assisted me BEFORE I came to understand how to do this work for myself. I also believe I've been given these lessons so I could teach them to others. These beliefs have nothing to do with Father Joe and the confessional or any part of being fearful of God or going to hell. In this blog I will share some experiences with you, then give you tools I've been "told" to develop over the years. I believe the things I have learned come from a Higher Source. I have no other explanation.
When I work directly with patients, as I have for over four decades, I can feel the energy flowing through me. Where does this come from? I've asked myself this for the same number of decades. I believe it is my Spiritual Self giving me the information that is needed. Now, you might wonder, if my Spiritual Self knows so much, why do I have to go through this "commitment thing"?
I believe we are all in a big school and we get all sorts of lessons depending on the level we are living. I've worked through at least six big commitments. What I gained through these trials and tribulations, including near death experiences, have given me the tools for helping others. Yet, I'm still learning, so I'm convinced this is still a "school." Most of my work that is available on mp3 downloads and through my books and ebooks comes through my life experiences as a professional clinical RN and therapist.
Besides my credentials, I am a survivor of many aspects of my life. Over the years I have learned how to teach/guide others to find this power within themselves. I believe this is my purpose. I've had many big fights with myself. Some nearly killed me. My food issues come to mind. I've been a binge and disorderly eater since early childhood. I can remember bingeing at age three. I've been a secret eater, anorexic and bulimic. I've abused alcohol and prescription medications. When I was in nursing school this was commonplace. But food issues almost killed me.
I knocked on the door of adult onset diabetes many times. I was saved by my Spiritual Self. I've shared this story in my books, but maybe I'll share it here some other time....not today. When Spirit saved me it was in answer to a direct prayer. I didn't like the answer.....I had to change just about everything, but I had COMMITTED in the prayer. OMG! When I prayed I had no idea what I was going to be asked to do. That was over three decades ago. The prayer saved my life and through my recovery I've helped thousands of others to make those changes. It is possible and when one comes out the other side of the dark forest, life is incredible.
I still listen to my own work, because I BELIEVE this work was channeled through me. While my commitment for 2015 has to do with my writing, I still must take care of other areas of my life that have been cleaned and cleared. This includes my eating issues and other compulsive tendencies. I need good, sound stress management. I need to take care of my mind, body and Spirit. When my son died three years ago I found myself sitting at the side of a stream, mesmerized by my own grief. I came to understand that I would be saved by returning to my earlier commitments. Here are two programs of mine that I listened to today.....I was guided by Spirit to choose these and share this with you.
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